Week 45: Cutting the Cord.

November 9, 2010 at 7:16 (Uncategorized)

My mother came into town to meet my fiance’s parents for the first time. The meeting went well, but my time with her alone was the most interesting I’ve had thus far. Isn’t it funny how you grow up and then past your parents and still remain codependent to them because you’re afraid to be more or different than you were raised to be?

I know you probably don’t agree. I’m sure you  became your own person long ago. But any time you don’t put yourself out there, consider why. Any time you hold on to fears, avoid risks, hold on to bad habits, continue doing what is not good for you or stubbornly refuse to pursue what is, recognize that what holds any person back is the comfort with the old way and a lack of familiarity with the unknown. And the unknown is simply what we didn’t experience or weren’t pushed to experience as children. It’s not rocket science that people would decide not to fix what’s not broken. But that’s exactly how we don’t challenge ourselves to think differently, and it’s exactly how old patterns get repeated. And man are they hard to break.

Through my parents’ patterns, I experienced narrow mindedness, judgment, haughtiness, anger, selfishness, avoidance, anti-social behavior, seclusion, anxiety, fear of “different” and insecurity. I’m really just realizing now how much of my life I spent becoming, trying to become or pretending to be this person.

It’s goooooood to separate myself. It is really good. I’m happier already  feeling the momentum of  the big ship finally, finally turning itself around.


1 Comment

  1. t said,

    you are your own person.

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