Week 44: Free Bird

November 1, 2010 at 7:16 (Uncategorized)

It goes without saying that happiness is defined differently by each person, and so it’s quite possible someone could feel alone in a city as busy as Chicago. That’s been me, lately. I’ve felt restless and lonely, but I know better than to blame it on Chicago. If anything, I’ve been a bad citizen to Chicago lately. I’ve ridden the bus in pitch black, looked at the sunrise beginning over the lakefront, sat in my office building, left it at pitch black and returned home on the same bus. I’ve cleaned my condo and gone to the Target. I really have become detached from my city in the past six months, so it’s no wonder I feel uninspired by it.

Whenever I start to feel like I’m drifting like this,  the thing that always draws me back is music. I’ve been feeling the pull of choral music, lately. To me, lending my voice to a chorus is the most fulfilling thing I can be a part of. Fronting a blues band, acting in musicals, singing a cappella and singing lead in a band have never been comfortable fits for me. They’re always someone else’s version of me, and I feel like I have so many other opportunities for people to tell me what to be in life that singing is where I should really be able to let myself fly.  The greatest music for singers was written to fill a huge concert hall without restraint, and I’m craving that again. I haven’t done it since I was 23 or 24, but I’d say that’s probably when I really lost myself to begin with.

Work is busy and life has its responsibilities, but everyone has to have something all for themselves. I feel extremely fortunate that my greediest, most personal, most joyful activity is joining my voice with other people’s. I can say with much relief that even though money is tight, if I can squeeze out some time, I can definitely afford to be happy.:)


1 Comment

  1. t said,

    Your voice makes me warm inside.

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