Week 37: Parental Guidance

September 14, 2010 at 7:16 (Uncategorized)


We’ve been talking about our future: about having kids in two years. I want to, but I’m not handling my stress well, and am yelling and stonewalling and stressing all over the place. I keep trying to tell myself it’ll be different when I have kids.  No it won’t. I won’t be some sudden angel because I’ve fulfilled my fantasy of having kids. It’s time to face that anger is a real problem for me. I need to address this. I keep wondering how I can be a parent unlike my parents — well, it’s about talking when I feel hurt or upset  instead of keeping it in to protect other people’s feelings or to keep myself from crying. What happens is that I  explode  later, either on the person that hurt me, on myself, or worse on other people in unrelated situations. Like on my work colleagues because I feel criticized. It’s called communication, and I need to learn it.

Right now, I’m still angry and defensive ,and it’s an awful, inexcusable way to be. In the interest of having happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids, I need to work backwards and figure out how I’m going to be the mother that produces those types of people. I know, I know: It means being that person myself. How will I ever accomplish that?

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2 Comments

  1. t said,

    You will be the most amazing mother. Our children WILL BE better than us, that is every parent’s dream and our future humans will force us to be better than we are. And we will be, I completely believe in us.

  2. gonzalezdj said,

    Just be yourself, learn how to love yourself, work on your strengths, and in time all things will work for your. Stop criticizing yourself for what you are not. I am sure you have a lot of great qualities that are waiting to come alive.

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